Rimming and Oral-Anal Contact

Anilingus (often understandably misspelled as analingus), or oral stimulation of the anus, is one of those sex acts that basically has two diametric poles in terms of peoples’ opinions about doing it. Many absolutely love giving and/or receiving a rimjob, while others fear it, think it’s outrageously disgusting, and would never seriously consider touching someone’s butthole with their tongue. You will rarely find anyone who holds a middle opinion on it (though there are many who love receiving but won’t give).

Oral-anal contact is one of the most intimate sex acts. I happen to believe it is even more intimate than kissing, since you’re placing a great deal of trust in your partner to be clean and are actually using your mouth, lips, and taste buds to make contact with the spot on his/her body where waste is eliminated.

Rimming is a very powerful tool to have in your sexual repertoire, however. It has both physical and psychological components to it that cause it to be ranked near the top of the list of sluttiest acts possible. And even though it is wildly arousing in and of itself, it is often used as an “introductory” prelude to further anal play.

What is Rimming/Anilingus?

Rimming, anilingus, eating ass – they all mean basically the same thing: oral contact with a partner’s anal area in general or their anus in particular. Some people narrowly construe the terms to mean only direct contact between the tongue and the anus. However, I generally refer to tongue-anus contact as rimming or anilingus, while I use the phrase “eating ass” to refer to all oral contact with the area in general.

Why Do People Want to Tongue-Fuck Each Other’s Assholes?

The short answer to this question is “because it feels fucking awesome.” That’s true for the person on the receiving end to be sure. Given the way the anus is structured, with it’s location in a narrow cleft, and the way the little sphincter muscle reacts when you start probing it with your tongue, it feels good to the person who’s performing the act as well.

The anus is one of the most nerve-dense areas on the human body, and thus, one of the most sensitive to touch. You don’t use those nerves for anything when you’re taking a dump, and they serve no other known purpose, so the only reason they must exist is for sexual pleasure as far as some are concerned. Many of these nerves aren’t even “awake” except when you’re sexually aroused, in fact.

Rimming and eating ass make excellent alternatives to anal penetration if you’re not ready for that. For the person on the receiving end, they also make for excellent anal foreplay in preparation of having a nice, thick cock buried deep into that back entrance. Going down on someone’s asshole causes them to relax, and therefore is an excellent form of foreplay in anticipation of anal intercourse.

From a psychological perspective, rimming is seen as taboo, slutty, and “dirty.” For those who enjoy the heightened eroticism that breaking taboos generates, their physical arousal is often magnified rather intensely. And regardless of how you view the dirtiness of it, being willing to provide oral sex to someone’s asshole increases your “slut” cred by an order of magnitude. It also lets your partner know you’re really into him/her.

And, finally, I know it is possible to make a guy cum from eating his asshole alone. I’ve not seen a woman have an orgasm from simply being rimmed, but I don’t see why that would be out of the realm of possibility.

How to Eat Ass Properly

(Note that I write this using a female giver and male recipient. Any gender can be on either side of this act, however)

You’ll want to start by gradually working your way back to your partner’s anal area. I generally recommend going down on your partner and performing oral sex on their genitals first, eventually working your way down their perineum, and finally making it into the crack of their ass. Sometimes it may be a good idea to slide your finger along the cleft of the their crack to gauge how they’ll react to something being back there (perhaps even getting it down into the crack and making contact with the butthole).

One question that always seems to come up is, “Is it best to ask first or just go for it without asking?” Neither is “right” or “wrong,” really, so you should just go with your gut feeling. In the past, I would have likely counseled people to ask before they start moving that way, but given the increasing popularity of this particular act, I do believe it is safe to view this just as you would regular oral sex. Make a move and gauge your partner’s reaction. If s/he tenses up and tries to close off access, then you know you need to spend some time talking about it before you try it again. Some people don’t even know they like this kind of thing until they have someone spring it on them as a surprise. You stand a reasonable chance of getting lucky.

As you work your way down, you should also use your sense of smell to determine if it is “safe” to proceed further south. If you’re playing with someone who’s not had a chance to shower or whose hygiene is less than it should be, it may not be very clean back there. You’ll usually be able to pick up on that using your nose. You could also, of course, just ask, using something along the lines of, “Are you comfortable with me going down on your ass?” This would solve the problem of encountering any surprises and avoid embarrassment for the both of you.

Anyway, to continue, if your partner’s lying down on the bed, he’ll need to pull his legs back to allow you access to his hole. Generally, once a guy realizes what you’re doing, he will pick up on this and pull his legs back on his own, especially if this is something he’s into. You may have to ask him to do it, however. There’s nothing wrong with telling a guy that you “have a surprise for him,” and asking him to help you out.

Start biting and nibbling on his perineum, then moving down to his butt cheeks, along the cleft of his ass, and then nibbling on that little curve of ass that descends into the crack itself. While you’re lightly chewing on his skin, occasionally dart your tongue out as you work yourself deeper toward his anus. Once you do make contact, just envision yourself making out with that tight little rosebud and work your tongue in there like that’s what you intend to do. You’ll feel the sphincter muscles tighten and relax as you probe the area. How much time you spend down there is up to you and how you gauge his reaction to what you’re doing. You may wish to blow your warm breath on a partner’s butthole prior to going down on it, too.

Once you get into it, use your tongue in a variety of ways to stimulate his anus. Run circles around it (that’s where the term “rimming” actually comes from), use your tongue to “punch” the anus (you’ll even hear people refer to “tongue punching your fartbox” as a reference to performing anilingus, by the way), and draw your flattened tongue across the anus itself. All of these will feel good to him. As you get better at it, you can continue to perform a handjob on him while you’re working his back door if you wish.

Some people try to get their tongues as far into the anus as possible, to the point of actually tongue-fucking their partner’s assholes. There’s nothing wrong with that, and as I point out in the health and safety module, if your partner’s not carrying any diseases, this isn’t going to make you sick or anything. You’re not going to get your tongue in there far enough to encounter any feces, regardless.

If the thought of putting your tongue on/in that dirty little hole squicks you out, take a shower with your partner and help him wash it. You can soap up a finger, penetrate his asshole with it (though that may take some convincing), and wash the outer ring (be sure you rinse the soap off well). Once you do that, it’ll be just as clean as any other piece of real estate on your partner’s body; it’ll taste just like any other piece of skin. An anus that has not been washed for much of the day will usually have a salty, slightly bitter taste, by the way.

An Unique Way to Learn to Eat Ass

It’s one thing for you to be skilled at eating ass, but often a whole other thing to get someone to go down on yours adroitly. This means you may have to train them how to do it. That may sound daunting, but there is a rather unique way to do it. It has been very effective every time I’ve used it and it makes learning the technique a whole lot of fun. It may also help you out if you’re unsure about your own skills, by the way.

Buy some ice cream topping. Not syrup, but the thicker “topping” they sell next to the jams and preserves in most grocery stores. I use chocolate because it is my favorite, but many people can’t get over the color similarity between it and, shall we say, other somewhat unpleasant substances that one might find in an asscrack. If that’s the case, use butterscotch, caramel, or whatnot. Even honey will work. Just get something thick that has some staying power and won’t run down your partner’s legs as you apply it.

Spread that stuff in your partner’s asscrack. Liberally. And make sure you get some right on the rosebud, too – don’t be shy. Use your finger to dab it on his or her asshole – you’ll get a kick out of the little involuntary tightening movement it does in reaction to your touch!

And then lick, suck, slurp, and eat it out of there. Since it is so thick, it will take some serious tongue action to get it all out. Run your tongue up and down that crack, occasionally grazing the asshole itself, but save the little bud for last. Once you get to that point, just dig in with your tongue and get it out of there. The best thing that works is circular motions. That tongue action will arouse your partner, even if s/he wasn’t into it to begin with, trust me on that.

Once you get used to doing it with the training aid, don’t use it any longer but perform the same motions. Simple, yet very effective. If you ever have a partner who’s not quite up to the skill level you’d like to see in someone who goes down on your backside, try this out and see if it won’t work for you.

Enthusiasm

I make the point in the course on giving head to a guy that the single most critical thing you can do to give a good blowjob is to do whatever you do with unbridled enthusiasm. The same is true for eating ass. You have to get to the point where you make out with your partner’s asshole. That’s exactly how you have to think about it. Just sticking your tongue on it and moving it around isn’t going to cut it. Follow the directions here, use the linked images as a guide for how to go about it, do it with gusto, and you’ll become known as one of the best ass eaters around. What slut doesn’t want that?

How Should I Prepare My Own Asshole to Have Someone Rim Me?

In addition to being a skilled anilinguist (or rimjob artist, if you prefer that term), you’re also likely to find yourself on the receiving end of this act as well. It is therefore important that you take the appropriate steps to ensure you’re always prepared to be in that situation.

The most important step to take, of course, is to clean the anus and area around it very well before you get busy. Basic soap and water works fine (don’t forget to soap up a finger and insert it into your anus to clean the inside of the ring). If you’ve been out for a while since having washed, or haven’t had a chance to wash up before you get started playing, you can use a wet wipe to clean yourself up rather quickly.

Just before you actually get in bed with someone double check your asscrack for any debris. Turn your back to the mirror, bend over, pull your buttcheeks apart, and make sure you don’t have any stray toilet paper, dingleberries, or other material in that crack. There’s nothing worse than spreading someone’s butt cheeks apart to find little shreds of TP or fecal matter back there, trust me. If you’re with someone new, always assume they’re going to try going down on your asshole! As I mentioned above, it is becoming a much more popular act and you never know when someone’s actually going to try it (some people ask before they head that way, others do not).

For long-term planning purposes, you should keep your asscrack and the area around your anus free of hair. Shave it at a minimum, but get it waxed if you can afford it. This not only makes it more palatable to the tongue, but cuts down on the musky scent as well. That lack of hair also makes it easier to clean up after going to the bathroom, by the way, and eliminates one mechanism that can capture fecal matter or toilet paper. And please don’t make the assumption that you have no hair around your asshole. Everyone has ass hair. Even you, sweetpea. I wish I had a dime for every time a girl has told me, “I don’t have any hair around my asshole.” Um, yes, you do. It may not be as dense as the guys’, but it is there.

And, if you just can’t bring yourself to go have those asshairs yanked out by some stranger (who sees more anuses in a given day than most proctologists, I might add. Your’s won’t stand out, trust me.), have your partner shave it for you. Set up a towel on the floor in a well-lit area, get in the FDAU (Face Down, Ass Up) position, spread your cheeks, and let your partner use a regular razor and shaving cream and make your little bottom all smooth and hair-free. And then, bust out the ice cream topping (see below) and have him/her go to work.

Positions

In addition to the positions mentioned above, there are a handful of others that make for great ass eating:

The 69 position: Unless you have a long tongue or your partner can bend his/her butt toward your mouth, the 69 position generally isn’t the best position to perform anilingus. This is more of a, “Oh, while I’m eating your pussy/sucking your dick, I’ll add a bit of attention on your butthole as well into the mix for a minute or two” kind of position.

Standing. In this position, your partner stands with his/her legs spread to one degree or another. You will reach up, grab the butt cheeks, spread them (or have the receiver spread them), and get your tongue all up in there. This will quickly get tiring for your neck in many cases. If you’re performing on a man, you can reach around and jerk him off while you’re doing it (this is known in slang as a “rusty trombone,” by the way).

Partner lying on his/her stomach (some call it the inverse 69): This is my personal favorite, as it allows for some incredible oral attention on a partner’s back end. Your partner lies on his/her stomach. You crawl on top of them just as you would for a standard 69 position – your legs are along side his/her head and your face is positioned right above his/her ass. Use your hands to grab the butt cheeks and spread them, and just dive in and make oral love to your partner’s asshole. You can spend a lot of time in this position because your neck won’t tire. It also affords the opportunity to go incredibly deep with your tongue. This also works well in just a standard partner on his/her stomach mode with you coming in from behind, of course.

Sitting on a stool: In this position, your partner sits on a stool with his/her legs to the front and him/her leaning forward. This causes the ass cheeks to spread apart of their own and pushes the anus out a bit, making it much easier to get to and much easier to penetrate.

FDAU with a reach-around. In this position, you go down on your partner’s asshole while s/he is in the FDAU position. You can also do this from a position of you sitting astride them and reaching under to provide manual stimulation to them simultaneously.

Sitting on a partner’s face. This can be done facing in either direction and with either men or women. If you’re performing on a guy, you can jerk him off while you’re working your tongue into this back door as well. This particular position is a favorite of many men who enjoy going down on a woman’s ass. This position allows the receiver to determine how deep the tongue goes into the anus.

There are a variety of positions that work well for performing oral in a threesome. If you have two people engaged in a 69 position, you can come in from the rear and go down on the asshole of the person on top. A popular fantasy of many is to have one person performing oral in the front while the other is performing oral in the rear. This works for either women or men, and works best if they’re standing.

The possibilities are rather endless, quite frankly. Since the act is pretty prevalent in porn these days, spend a few minutes watching some of your favorite porn to get some ideas for other positions you might be interested in trying.

Overcoming Hesitation

The first time you try to go down on someone’s backside you’re liable to encounter some hesitation on their part. This is especially true if your partner is a guy. A lot of men seem to have this association of any kind of anal play on themselves and being seen as gay. The fact that you’re a female would seem to preclude any sex act the two of you do as being gay, but guys are still attached to this notion that if they’re seen as enjoying anal stimulation it somehow makes them less masculine. Women, on the other hand, will be a lot more accommodating when another woman attempts to head backside, though you will still get some who don’t want to go there.

If it is something you want someone to try but they seem reluctant, discuss it with them. Explain why you enjoy doing it (or having it done to you), why you find it erotic, and how it can be done cleanly and safely (as detailed above). See if you can convince them to try it once and let them know if it is something they just can’t come to enjoy, you’ll not bring the subject up again.

Just as a quick note related to this, if your partner goes down on your ass, the chances are excellent that s/he’ll be open to you going down on his/her ass. In fact, this is one way guys will often hint that they’d like for you to try it. It’s not universal, of course, but it can be a good indicator.

Kissing Afterward

Some people find kissing after performing a rimjob highly erotic, while others want nothing to do with it. You’ll have to gauge your partner’s reaction to it as it varies from person to person. I find the squeamishness of some people particularly off-putting when it comes to kissing after any intimate sex act, but I understand why some people are hesitant about doing it. Regardless, both of you should wash your lips and chin, and use antiseptic mouthwash after performing oral on someone’s asshole.

Advanced/Pro Tips

There are a variety of professional or advanced tricks you can add into the mix to increase the eroticism to an even higher level. For example:

If you’re going down on a female, use two fingers or a vibrator/dildo to penetrate her cunt while you’re doing it. Get her in a doggy or FDAU position and fuck her cunt in a rhythmic motion while you’re using your tongue to eat, suck, and fuck her asshole. Many women find this to be outrageously erotic.

On a new partner, I’d never go for the asshole first unless it was a particularly wild and erotic encounter. Always perform standard oral sex and get them all aroused and everything, then go for the backdoor. When someone is sexually aroused, they become more open to suggestions and a lot more disinhibited with respect to things they might not try if they weren’t aroused.

Alternate between performing oral on your partner’s asshole and penetrating it with a finger(s) or a dildo of some kind if they’re into light anal penetration. Though it is probably best to discuss this before “going there,” that is up to your discretion based on your situation and the partner you find yourself with at the time.

Just as with oral sex involving the genitals, the specific partner who’s taking the active lead can be reversed such that the person who’s ass is being eaten is the one making all the movements. This image demonstrates an example of that.